by Every missionary is going to have hilarious moments on their mission. Here are my top ones.
1. Kids playing Black Ops 1 Zombies
We were sitting down teaching a lesson one crisp morning and behind me I could hear a distinct sound that I could never mistake. It was the sound of the M1911 pistol being shot in Black Ops 1 Zombies. For the next 45 minutes, I could hear these boys playing Black Ops Zombies on full blast and they weren’t very good because they could never get past the second round. I was doing everything in my power from standing up and playing with them.
2. Guy wearing Justin Beiber hat
So we were walking down from our area called the Mountain and we saw this angry looking man walking down the road. I thought, “Wow that guy looks angry.” As we got closer to him I noticed he was wearing a white hat that said, “I ❤ Justin Bieber” I was literally about to crack up laughing. It was literally the funniest thing ever.
3. Guy wearing “Surf the Wedge, Newport Beach” shirt
One day we were going to the Congo River for a zone activity and I was sitting in the front of the bus with my camera. I saw a moto man wearing a shirt that said, “Surf the Wedge, Newport Beach” Newport Beach is my hometown in California and The Wedge is a popular beach in Newport. Needless to say, I was astonished that something like that would just appear in front of me in the middle of Africa. I saw another person wearing a Newport Beach shirt earlier on my mission too.
4. Being called “Mista Bean” by kids
In Douala, the kids would call me “Mista Bean.” On the road that we took everyday there was this school and everyday 20-30 Cameroonian kids would jump up and down and yell “MISTA BEAN, MISTA BEAN!!” at me twice a day. It was the most random and hilarious thing ever.
5. Kids that would salute us and stand at attention
Sometimes in Congo while we would walk along the street, there would be these kids who would stand at attention at the side of the road and salute us like a soldier. It was super funny. Also a lot of people thought that we were pilots because we were all dressed up in our white shirts and ties.
6. Crazy taxis story
We were going downtown to collect our money that we needed for the month. On the way back we took a really nice taxi that was pretty “blinged out”. Elder Maynard asked if the guy could turn on some French music so he did at full blast. Then he asked if we wanted to have some fun. We said sure. He then started driving like a maniac going full speed down the street and weaving around cars. The Ghanaian elder who was next to me was freaking out. He was yelling “stop, stop, tu est fou!” The driver was going so fast. Whenever there was a pedestrian walking across the street, he would drive even faster and they would run out of the way. It was super funny and scary at the same time.
7. Guy walking down the street with bats
We were walking along and I heard this screeching sound like, “screech screech” I looked down the street and sure enough, there was this guy walking with two live bats in his hands. Live, and they were screeching and trying to bite his hands but he was just walking like nothing was happening. There are a lot of bats in Congo. People sell them as food by the hundreds. I felt tempted just to buy one and see what they taste like.
8. Tomato paste with botulism shot in my eye
One day we went down to the little shop next door and bought some tomato paste cans. Nothing unusual about them except they had some rat poop on them and they were bulging a little more than usual. No biggy. I was making dinner and I punctured a can with a knife and as soon as I took out the knife, the tomato paste shot straight out and hit me right in the eye then sprayed all the way to the wall and ceiling of the kitchen. It went all over the place. My face had tomato paste all over it.
Despite this fluke I made a sauce with this tomato paste and then served it to the other missionaries in the apartment. They smelled it and said, “no way” and all three of them went to a store to buy food. I was just really hungry so I ate it even though it didn’t taste good.
I felt fine and then twenty minutes later the stomach ache started. I was in pain all night. My stomach was being tortured but I couldn’t throw up or use the toilet. I was just in pain in my bed. I didn’t sleep well but I felt good enough the next day we went out and taught as though nothing had happened.
9. Guy giving me a Minecraft shirt
We were teaching this woman in Douala and after the lesson I see this guy washing his car wearing a Minecraft shirt. I was so shocked. I walked up to him and ask him out much he bought it for. He says 1,000 francs which is $2. I told him I would buy it off him for 2,000 francs. He laughs and then takes his shirt off and puts it in a bag and says, “you can have it for free.” It was so nice of him. We gave him a Book of Mormon in exchange. I still have that Minecraft shirt in a box. It’s just a little small for me though.
